{more than you ever wanted to know…}

Cassie tagged me, and a few other “voluntary” tags {Kierstin} have been out there…but this one follows the outline of Cassie’s…Ten years ago… 1998 – Dusty & I had just returned home from 20 months of teaching English in South Korea and traveling Southeast Asia/South Pacific. Kiana was born, Dusty graduated from college. We moved from Seoul to Cedar City to Salt Lake to American Fork. woo-hoo! busy year.

5 places I’ve visited… I’ll do my top-five FAVORITES. In order –
1)I {heart} NYC, NY – specifically Manhattan. I will live there someday, near Central Park.
2)Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

3)Hong Kong
4)Auckland, NZ
5)London, England

I enjoy… blogging, reading, traveling, long HOT baths, gardening, coffee, iced tea, working out, playing soccer {taking soccer Mom to a whole new level}, hearing my kids laugh, snuggling with my kids in my bed late into the morning, doing my girls hair, shopping {especially for gifts}, cooking, learning new things – currently photography, oil painting, and guitar, manicures, pedicures, holidays, watching my girls dance, dates with my husband, movies, great restaurants, being with great friends, the smell of a new car, rook, tivo, lipstick, going tanning, good smells, playing Caribbean poker in Vegas or anywhere, like online games similar to ポーカースターズ, but I also love gambling in the Bahamas, planning/hosting parties, sand volleyball, 60-75 degree days with the windows open in the house, wake boarding, snow skiing, riding bikes, eating lunch with my kids at their schools, eating healthy, sleeping in, music-mostly adult alternative, People magazine…

3 bad habits…
1)I shop too much = spend too much.
2)I always leave the water running in the kitchen and waste too much water. I need to think green!
3)If I start eating Chocolate covered cinnamon bears, I have a really really hard time stopping.

5 things you may not know about me {not just me – I’m adding “our family” to this}1) Kiana Jane; Kiana is a name Dusty LOVED and she’s named after me – Jane Francis Beckner Rhodes. I am named after both of my grandma’s. Francis Maree Beckner & Mary Jane Thaanum. Kiana had her first driving lesson today! She did SO good, here’s proof –

2) Myla Maree; Myla is named after a dear Filipina friend of ours, “Myla” who is the wife of Alson, they own the factory in the Philippines that is exclusively Pro Look Sports manufacturer. Maree is from my grandma Francis Maree Beckner.
3)Kay Jay “KJ“; is named after Dusty’s step dad Kay Wright and my dad Frederick Jay Beckner.
4) Sela Alexandra; Sela is a name I just LOVED and Alexander is her New Zealand papa.
5)Here’s a big one, it will boggle a few of my blog readers…This is not a new theological opinion of mine, but an interesting way of sharing my opinion. I have been reading ~I feel a kinship with this author. I wish Chapter 3 had come from my own mind & mouth, but I am going to quote the entire chapter and everything in red is what I so greatly agree with…but I love it all…Here goes…


“Now, this was a first for me. And since this is the first time I have introduced that loaded word -GOD-into my book, and since this is a word which will appear many times again throughout these pages, it seems only fair that I pause here for a moment to explain exactly what I mean when I say that word, just so people can decide right away how offended they need to get

Saving for later the argument about whether God exists at all (no-here’s a better idea: let’s skip that argument completely), let me first explain why I use the word God, when I could just as easily use the words Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu or Zeus. Alternatively, I could call God “That,” which is how the ancient Sanskrit scriptures say it, and which I think comes close to the all-inclusive and unspeakable entity I have sometimes experienced. But that “That” feels impersonal to me-a thing, not a being-and I myself cannot pray to a That. I need a proper name, in order to fully sense a personal attendance. For this same reason, when I pray, I do not address my prayers to The Universe, The Great Void, The Force, The Supreme Self, The Whole, The Creator, The Light, The Higher Power, or even the most poetic manifestation of God’s name taken, I believe, from the Gnostic gospels: “The Shadow of the Turning.”

I have nothing against any of these terms. I feel they are all equal because they are all equally adequate and inadequate descriptions of the indescribable. But we each do need a functional name for this indescribability, and “God” is the name that feels the most warm to me, so that’s what I use. I should also confess that I generally refer to God as “Him,” which doesn’t bother me because, to my mind, it’s just a convenient personalizing pronoun, not a precise anatomical description or a cause for revolution. Of course, I don’t mind if people call God “Her,” and I understand the urge to do so. Again-to me, these are both equal terms, equally adequate and inadequate. Though I do think the capitalization of either pronoun is a nice touch, a small politeness in the presence of the divine.

Culturally, though not theologically, I’m a Christian [LDS for me.] I was born a Protestant of the white Anglo-Saxon persuasion. And while I do love that great teacher of peace who was called Jesus, and while I do reserve the right to ask myself in certain trying situations what indeed He would do, I can’t swallow that one fixed rule of Christianity insisting that Christ is the only path to God. {exactly how I feel} Strictly speaking, then, I cannot call myself a Christian. Most of the Christians I know accept my feelings on this with grace and open-mindedness. Then again, most of the Christians I know don’t speak very strictly. To those who do speak (and think) strictly, all I can do here is offer my regrets for any hurt feelings and now excuse myself from their business.

Traditionally, I have responded to the transcendent mystics of all religions. I have always responded with a breathless excitement to anyone who has ever said that God does not live in a dogmatic scripture or in a distant throne in the sky, but instead abides very close to use indeed-much closer than we can imagine, breathing right through our own hearts. I respond with gratitude to anyone who has ever voyaged to the center of that heart, and who has then returned to the world with a report for the rest of us that God is an experience of supreme love. In every religious tradition on earth, there have always been mystical saints and transcendents who report exactly this experience. Unfortunately many of them have ended up arrested and killed. Still, I think very highly of them.

In the end, what I have come to believe about God is simple. It’s like this-I used to have this really great dog. She came from the pound. She was a mixture of about ten different breeds, but seemed to have inherited the finest feature of them all. She was brown. When people ask me, “What kind of dog is that?” I would always give the same answer: “She’s a brown dog.” Similarly, when the question is raised, “What kind of God do you believe in?” my answer is easy: “I believe in a magnificent God.”

5 jobs I have had…
1) When I was about 15, I had a telemarketing job for a floor-cleaning company. IT sucked.
2)After that, it motivated me to get a nail technician’s license and I got my first small business license as “Beckner’s Nail Boutique,” remember h.s. buddies? I did nails for about 5 years.
3)In college, because the nail thing wasn’t enough Money, Troy Blanchard {manger/friend} hired me at Boomer’s Mexican restaurant. I hosted, bussed tables, then finally waited tables. I only worked there for 3 months! But, I loved being a waiter.
4) ESL teacher in Seoul, Korea
5) babyGAP. When Kiana was a baby, I loved it!

side note: Those are ALL the jobs I have had. It’s a dream to me, to be a Mom. But, I would LOVE to own a very high-end coffee/tea/cocoa house. Or, if I figure out a way to make money blogging. That would be fabulous!I’m curious who invested the time to read all this, wow, that took some serious time!?!

I tag – Brandy Henry, Mindy {Holmes}, Angie Wendel, Starlee Johnson, Heather Johnson, Kajsa & Troy Farnsworth.

21 responses to “{more than you ever wanted to know…}”

  1. I won’t lie, I read it all. I can only imagine the coffee house YOU would come up with. I say you do it!

  2. P.S, I can’t believe Kiana was driving. Not to mention singing while doing it. She looked very calm and collected!

  3. I read it all. I like reading all of your blog and watching the movies (Kiana what a fearless rock star!). It makes me feel like I know what you are up to. We aren’t that far away but we don’t see each other very much! I wish I was more involved with you guys, especially the kids. That age gap is getting bigger (me and the kids, you and me is getting smaller)! Family life takes so much time! Anyway yeah I would drive the 40 miles every day to come to your coffee shop as long as you have green tea frappaccinos!

  4. That was a lot of insight into your life 🙂 I love reading tags for that reason! Isn’t blogging the best? Thanks for the Eat Pray Love excerpt. I have that book packed in my hospital bag. I’m pretty excited to read it.

  5. I read it all! I love to see what is going on in that head of yours! I think when you blog {I can see how it is so therapeutic} you let yourself out, and I LOVE it!
    OH and I love how you Let Kiana Drive…That is one of my greatest Memories with my Dad, he let me drive all of the time at age 12!

  6. Yep, I read it all too. I love having a good blog read while I drink my coffee and get the day started at work (although I would prefer sitting in your future cafe while I do this).

    I’m glad you did this post because I got to know so much more about you. I love that you are fearless enough to let your daughter drive, try a million new things and share your spiritual views with the blogosphere!

  7. Isn’t it amazing how gifted people can put into words what’s been floating in your head for years? I felt that way with the character Leah in the Poisonwood Bible…she was the ficticious version of me in many ways and it helped to read about myself in the 3rd person. Thanks for letting us into your head-you know I like that 🙂

  8. Hey girl!!! You and I arent so different Im a ” coffee brat” if you will too. I love coffee shops and If you ever open up shop ill be 1st in line. Love your post. I cant believe you let her drive!!! Wow by the time she is 16 shell be a pro. Love all the pics and your easter egg pics inspired me to get mine done too. Have a great day!!!

  9. I read it all and it was so great to get to know you better. Kiana is SO cute! What a great job she did driving…Geoff took me all the time when I was young, what an awesome big brother!

  10. Of course I read it ALL! I learned so much about your thoughts and feelings, something I have wished to discuss with you for years. So the invitation is still there if you ever want. I LOVE theological discussions and I am encouraged in your belief in God. I was starting to think Scientologist?! j/k – sort of! What is the name of that book anyway? the picture of it didn’t come up on my computer! When our children are all grown up we can open up our little dream boutiques. I still want a gorgeous day spa!

  11. I read that book. Its nice that you are not afraid to share your insights. Will you serve Chai tea at your coffee shop? Oh, and can kiana teach Ryler how to drive? Its giving me to much anxiety!!!!

  12. I too read it all, I love “tags”. I think they are super fascinating!

    I forgot about the nail days…great blast from the past! =)

    I LOVED when my Dad let me drive before I was of age. Such a crack up to see your daughter doing it too. You are brave, and a super fun Mom it seems.

    I love pics of your kids on the side of your site with all the blogging tee’s. So cute and funny!

    And last but not least, yes, I did the flo-rider too. It was such a blast! Chris and I are looking forward to going up to Ogden to try that one out too. We here it’s even bigger so that will be fun.

  13. I read it all, very insightful. Thanks for putting me at the top of your list to tag, I’ll do what I can. By the way I DO remember the good ol’ days at Hall’s Carpet Cleaning…good times. We did make pretty good money for 14 year olds that summer.

  14. I havnt seen you guys in forever. but I must say you keep up a wonderful blog. I have never seen anyone write that much. But enjoyed it all. Your going to have carpal tunnel if you dont watch out!

  15. I always read it all. Sela is too darling for words. We need to have more theological and book discussions when I visit in May. At my bookclub tonight we were just talking about books to read in the future and this one came up.
    Our book for tonight was “the glass castle” and my other bookclub is reading “Amish Grace” I just finished Fannie Flaggs “Can’t wait to get to heaven” which is an great upbeat read. hugs to all

  16. Wow! What great insight, I wish I could be so open to how I feel. I just bought the book thanks for telling me about it.

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