dear me.

my dear friend & sorority sister (aoe), katie, has had ‘the dear me project’ going on since 2009.

and since 2009, i’ve been thinking about what i’d write. after two years of thoughts fluttering around in my head, i finally wrote something – i’m not sure if i included everything i would say to my younger self, i think i could spend a lifetime thinking about & writing this – but, it’s a good draft. and, it’s genuine.

i also usually try to not focus on the past & what i’d want to change… i typically think, “yeah. if i had to do it all over again, i’d probably make the same mistakes, but look where i am… it’s all worth it!”

but wouldn’t it be cool if we could go-back & slightly alter ourselves? what do you think? perhaps, this will influence my daughters, in some way. or, wouldn’t it be cool to create a world where beauty is only a source of confidence, and not anxiety. where everyone embraces who they are, and is happy, just as they are. it’s a beautiful thought.

*****

dear jane, circa 1984-1994.

hey kiddo. {dad always called me kiddo. and i’m fond of the term.} it’s me, just a ways down the road. a little older, a few more wrinkles, and a heck of a lot wiser. since twenty-five years ago, the great www. has been invented and has connected you to the most inspiring, beautiful world. you currently dwell in such a pond of happiness, that your mind just oozes with gratitude. besides that, you’re well-traveled and your perspective on life has matured. you are the core of a beautiful family, a family that you spent your entire childhood dreaming of. but, before you reach these moments… there are a few things we need to re-visit…

the most important thing i want emphasize to my younger self-

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!
~Shakespeare

and then, a few other things – i’ll use a list, because, i love making lists.

1} do not perm your hair. do not perm your hair every three months for about six years.

2} do not wear make-up in fifth grade, wait till later. {i don’t know why your mother allows you to do these things. i’m still baffled by this.}

3} do not start tanning in tanning beds when you’re like 12! down the road, you will do so much traveling to exotic places, a tan will be a bonus. you do not need to look tan for boys to like you, now. or, to be noticed. you can be white & beautiful.

4} do not spend so much time, thinking about boys. or doing things to get noticed by boys. better yourself – nurture your love of the arts so you can fill your time with quality talents, enjoy the passion that you have for creating. against your own thoughts, your dad will support you in being artistic… you don’t have to study business, math, etc. to please him. your bond with your dad is fiercely strong but quiet, allow it to be what you need. fill your time with these things, instead of boys. you do not need a boyfriend to feel secure. don’t fall in love, live your life a little first, you don’t need boys so young – not at 12, 14, 16.

mark twain said,
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

… as a young adult, you will join forces with the most amazing man, he dotes on you endlessly and loves you for all you are. you are a powerful team, he’s truly god-sent. and you will explore, discover. it will be unreal – so, don’t use your teenage years looking for love.

5} do keep dreaming. your entire childhood you are aware of your desires to dream, and this little seed in your soul that feels like you can conquer the world – nourish it – you were born a confident, positive force. noticing good before bad is just normal to you… you won’t realize this till you’re about sixteen. at this point, when you start to share your dreams out loud, your mom may start to shut you down. she’s not a dreamer. she’s very practical, and lacks the kind of confidence you have. this can only mean one thing, you will clash. don’t let your flame diminish – in reality, you don’t. but there will be challenging days. and delays. life will get better, sooner rather than later.

6} between the ages of 8-18, you may not even understand this word to it’s fullest captivity, but stop coveting. be happy with what you have. even if it seems like very little. it’s enough. yes, there are years where your family doesn’t have a car, or tv, or the latest nintendo… or, what you covet the most – family. your parents and the situation you are in can. not. change. so, love those around you for how it is. life is going to give you so much beyond your wildest imaginations later, especially in the realm of family. realize now that the simplest things in life bring happiness, your soul will be happy. with this being said, find adults you can trust, who are honest – they are there, it just might take some searching for them.

7} with these first six, embrace everything about you. to thine own self be true. love who you are. find the courage in your soul to express how you feel, speak up, about everything – your weaknesses, your personal struggles with religion, and let those around you know how you feel. do not feel small or insignificant because of the storms you’ve weathered at such a young age. embrace it all, and you will grow. you are a very emotional creature, channel those emotions to help you grow. use those emotions towards your creativity.

after these seven things, be yourself. i promise, you will be happy. the happiest you have ever been. you will be loved, so completely. you have so much potential, you just need to discover it a little sooner.

one day, you will have four children, and you will celebrate their individuality. in fact, you will over-encourage them to be authentic. making sure that they don’t perm their hair, don’t wear make-up in fifth grade, don’t go tanning too young, or go seeking the attention of boys to help them feel secure. you will saturate them with your love, and you will fight for their passions, and what makes them happy. it will make your heart feel like it beats on the outside of your body, the love is so strong.

and, when you reach here, 2011, you’ll have a new perspective of your parents. there will still be sorrows, but you will have a better understanding. and, 2011 rocks.

to thine own self be true.

warmly,
jane

xo.

*****

i welcome everyone to participate – here.

maybe you could add this to your to-do list this weekend? what are your plans? hopefully, it does not involve a perm!

also! my chandelier was featured over on the decor hacks blog – check it out, here!

and, my darling friend susan from the freshly picked blog was on studio 5 here in utah this morning. she featured a tutorial about the chandelier, too! {check it out here.} the wax paper-capiz shell chandelier is a rockstar! woo-hoo!

happy weekend!

we are off to southern nevada, as a family.
road trip here we come!!!

xo.

8 responses to “dear me.

  1. I totally want to copy and paste this. A lot of similarities yet, totally different up bringing. Beautifully written Jane! I'm so proud to know you.

  2. I only know you through this blog, but I already adore you. Love this so much! I love the emphasis on being true to yourself… I feel I am still working on this… I know I will get there, just takes time 🙂 Thank you for sharing Jane!!

  3. I really loved this. Beautifully written. I'm not quite old enough to be as wise as what you have written and still struggle with being true to who I am but it's great to know we all still have time to mature and become who we want to be…even if it comes later than one had expected.

  4. oh this would be so fun to write!! i loved what you wrote. I would love to have told myself to stop stressing about having babies, who would have known i would have lots of babies! haha

    so fun to read!

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