Papa

My kids are all asleep, and husband is in the philippines. which means i have a very quiet house minus the animals attacking my garbage cans outside my office window. I have been up late packing for an unexpected trip. On thursday morning I will be taking the kiddos to Nevada, where we will meet up with husband and attend my father-in-laws funeral on friday. He passed away yesterday – on May 21st. Technically, he had a stroke that caused serious damage. But mostly, it was the end of a health battle that had gone on over the past few years.

When you receive a phone call with bad news – first, someone is calling who you don’t usually hear from – or, they call late – or, there is a pause immediately in the beginning of the phone conversation and whichever one of these happens. you know. i received the first call like this on sunday evening, and have been reflecting on our papa’s life ever since.

Alexander Forbes a.k.a. papa was an extraordinary man. Tall. Strong. In my memories he’s always wearing a white or black track suit. He was mr. Vegas – with style and a beautiful head of white hair. I met him on my very first official date with my husband. At the time i was living in Cedar City and attending Southern Utah University. Dusty asked me to meet him in St. George where he was playing in a mens fast pitch softball tournament with Alexander. I showed up, met Alex, and was instantly impressed with the mans athletic ability for his age! At the time he was 57 years old, and was playing baseball just as good as all the twenty-somethings on the field. He was kind, jovial, and competitive.

My husband didn’t grow-up with Alexander, he was raised by a Step-Dad who was another great man. Yet, over the years as I came to know Alexander – it was fascinating to see how similar Dusty and Alexander were knowing they didn’t spend any time together as Dusty was growing up. Those Forbes genes are mighty fierce! These two handsome men shared an interest in entertaining – always the life of the party, wherever they are. I’ve never known anyone else who could become best friends with strangers quicker than these two. They both sing in the shower, sing around the house, sing in the car, sing to everyone around them. They share an unparalleled competitiveness that could sometimes use a little bridling. ::smiles:: They have a common interest in entrepreneurial business. They both share a deep appreciation for the opposite sex. ha! I could guarantee you that if you were with either of these men, you are having a good time. It’s as simple as that.

Husbands step-Dad died over seventeen years ago, and his mom died a few years ago, and now his real father has passed away. There is a certain sense of orphan-ness that settles in my soul when thinking about this. We all keep the family lines going with our own children, and yet we have such legacies to carry when the torch is passed. Because my own father has also died, I think i’ve held myself together pretty well this week. Yet, our kids have had consistent moments of tears and heartache. We had been planning to have our papa visit us in Boston soon, and they feel disappointed that that trip will not happen. As i’ve tried to explain to them that papa was so full of life, that he lived every minute with zeal, he would not want us to be unhappy – he would want us to remember his joy. remember his teasing nature. He would want us to rejoice in the beauty of life,  work hard – play hard – and most specifically, to be winners. ::wink::

The thing i keep thinking about the most, is a print Alex gave us a few years ago in our last home. There is a picture of an ivory bone and in Maori it says:

Kotahi te Koowhao o te ngira,
e kuhuna ai te miro maa,
te miro pango, te miro whero.
I muri, kia mau ki te aroha,
ki te ture, me te whakapono.

the translation is:

There is but one eye of the needle through
which the white, black, and red threads
must pass. After I am gone, hold fast to
the love, to the law and to the faith.

– Pootatau Te Wherowhero

This framed print hangs near our front door, and as if Papa knew what was ahead – we will hold fast to the love.

you can read Alexander’s obituary here.

More posts with our papa here, and here, and here.

{photos by me.}